Breast cancer generally produces no symptoms when it’s small and best treatable, so it’s important to follow screening guidelines to detect it in this early stage. Regular breast self examinations (tips and diagram) and an annual mammogram can help catch the…
Men still have trouble recognizing that a woman can be complex, can have ambition, good looks, sexuality, erudition, and common sense. A woman can have all those facets, and yet men, in literature and in drama, seem to need to simplify women, to polarize us as either the whore or the angel. That sensibility is prevalent, even to this day.
I had to reconcile the real person and the character of Anne Boleyn as created in the text. For the actor, the text is your bible. You can try to put a spin on the nuances, but in the end our job is to be the vehicle of the text. But I got tired of flying the flag of Showtime in interviews, [justifying the show’s sexuality and inaccuracies] when in the pit of my stomach, I agreed wholly with what the interviewer was saying to me. I lost many hours of sleep, and actually shed tears during my portrayal of her, trying to inject historical truth into the script, trying to do right by this woman that I had read so much about. It was a constant struggle, because the original script had that tendency to polarize women into saint and whore. It wasn’t deliberate, but it was there.
I begged Michael Hirst to do it right in the second [season]. He listened to me because he knew I knew my history. And I remember saying to him: `Throw everything you’ve got at me. Promise me you’ll do that. I can do it. The politics, the religion, the personal stuff, throw everything you’ve got at me. I can take it.’ I wanted to show that she was a human being, a young woman placed in a really difficult and awful situation, manipulated by her father, the king, and circumstances, but that she was also feisty and interesting and had a point of view and tried to use her powers to advance what she believed in. And I wanted people to live with her, to live through her. To see her.
Natalie Dormer, discussing the difficulty of giving an accurate portrayal of Anne Boleyn on The Tudors (x)
Personal boundaries are the limits you set for how others may act or speak in your presence. They are lines you draw that define your values. They are not walls to shut people out, but rather limits that keep the unwanted behaviors of others from entering your space. Boundaries are essential for personal health. They act as filters, permitting what’s acceptable into your life and keeping other elements out. Your boundaries are about what others may say or do to you or in your presence.
Express Your Boundaries
Once you are clear about your boundaries, you must educate people as to how to act in your presence. If you never tell anyone how to treat you, they will treat you in whatever way they choose. When you say nothing, you give your power away. It’s one thing to confide in a co-worker, “I don’t like the rude manner in which he spoke to me,” and quite another to tell the person directly, “Please don’t speak to me in that tone.” When you assert your boundaries, you are telling others how you expect to be treated. This reflects basic self-respect.
Enforce Your Boundaries
There are several ways to assert yourself and enforce your boundaries. Here are some tools for you to use:
Inform by pointing out the behavior you find unacceptable. “Did you realize you were speaking very loudly?”
Make a request. “Please do not raise your voice to me.”
Give instructions. “I need for you to lower your voice.”
Warn the person. “You may not speak to me in that tone.”
Make a demand. “Stop it! I demand you stop yelling at me right now!”
Leave. “What you are doing is unacceptable to me. I am willing to work it out with you when you are able to be reasonable. I must leave now to protect myself.”
I’ve been embarrassed before, but I’ll own up to it now. I’ve actually never voted before, because I had so much trouble with IDs. I’ve tried in multiple elections. If you’ve had trouble too, I recommend this resource.
If you step on my foot, you need to get off my foot.
If you step on my foot without meaning to, you need to get off my foot.
If you step on my foot without realizing it, you need to get off my foot.
If everyone in your culture steps on feet, your culture is horrible, and you need to get off my foot.
If you have foot-stepping disease, and it makes you unaware you’re stepping on feet, you need to get off my foot. If an event has rules designed to keep people from stepping on feet, you need to follow them. If you think that even with the rules, you won’t be able to avoid stepping on people’s feet, absent yourself from the event until you work something out.
If you’re a serial foot-stepper, and you feel you’re entitled to step on people’s feet because you’re just that awesome and they’re not really people anyway, you’re a bad person and you don’t get to use any of those excuses, limited as they are. And moreover, you need to get off my foot.
See, that’s why I don’t get the focus on classifying harassers and figuring out their motives. The victims are just as harassed either way.
It’s also applicable to other situations where someone claims their intentions were pure and they didn’t mean to do something sexist/racist/heterosexist/abelist, etc. Even if you did not mean to step on someone’s foot—you did.
“We don’t need to justify ourselves to anyone. We don’t need a reason to be queer. Maybe we were born this way, maybe we weren’t. Maybe sexuality is fluid for some people and not for others. It’s totally irrelevant either way. The message we need to send to heterosexists is not that our sexuality was foisted upon us and that they should be “tolerant” and “understanding”. The message is: our sexuality is perfectly valid and none of your business, we offer you no excuses, and we are never going away.”—
You never, ever, EVER have to justify your sexuality to someone! Just because they don’t understand doesn’t always mean it’s your job to educate them - or that you have to prove anything to them. The only person who really gets a say in your sexuality is you.
What constitutes sexually active for me? In regards to doctors asking the question this includes anything that can pass STIs, including manual sex, oral sex and frottage (as well as anal sex). Come up with what your boundaries are and what parts of sexually active you desire.
Do I WANT to have sex? and related questions like “is anyone pressuring me to have sex?” If you legitimately want to have sex and you aren’t feeling pressured by anyone or like you should have sex because of your age, feel free!
Do I have what I want out of this relationship? Do you just want sex with no strings attached? Do you want love and affection? Do you want a stable relationship? Do you want to feel safe and trust your partner? Make sure you’re getting the things you want and your partner’s expectations match up with yours.
Do I know how to have safer sex? Am I ready to be prepared for STI testing, possible STIs, or unplanned pregnancy? Do your research. Make up a plan of action, when you’re going to get tested, what birth control and protection you’re going to use and what you’d want to do if you became pregnant. Talk with your partner to make sure your ideas match up with theirs. This includes abortion. If you know that you’d be getting an abortion if you became pregnant make sure your partner doesn’t have a problem with that. If you want to use condoms and dental dams make sure your partner agrees to that.
Are there any problems that may arise? There may be problems with family, especially if you are younger. If there’s an age gap there may be problems with legality. Address any issues that may occur and look up the laws for your area. Figure out what’s worth the risk or reevaluate what you want.
“The rape is the kind of story that makes women realize how vulnerable we really are. It makes us think twice about walking through a darkened parking lot, running a simple errand after dark, or jogging alone. We are targets everyday in ways we don’t even realize. Because of our gender, we must constantly think about how to be safe. Fear proscribes how and where we live, where we walk, where we park, where we sleep, eat and travel. As women, we know there are some things we cannot — or rather, should not — do, some places we should not go. We’ve seen the movies, we’ve read the articles, we know the statistics. The media is our collective storyteller and the story it tells us over and over again is that there is no safe place — not on the roads where we drive, on the streets where we walk, not even in the house where we live. We feel at risk because we are.”—http://www.pbs.org/kued/nosafeplace/articles/nightmare.html (via amourenfuite)
So we’ve actually seen this very viral crap today! This submitter writes, “I knew my opinion would be in the minority, as basically all of his facebook friends are Mormon. But I couldn’t help it. I think God compelled me.”